Elections 2014 - A humorous outlook!!

Finally the most covered election in all forms of media comes to an end and the people of India have given Narendra Damodardas Modi a clear majority to take the country forward.  A simple chaiwala will now lead the country with the hope of a billion Indians that he will bring about development.  And while the country reached new lows in terms of political speeches with words like ‘neech’, ‘maa-bete ki sarkar’, ‘zeher ki kheti’ and other highly dramatic words being used frequently for a thunderous applause from the audience, once the election results were out each and every person on social media tried to bring out their humorous best.  To clear the serious and tense atmosphere a collection of tweets which sadly mocked the candidates and parties but brought a smile on the faces of Twitteratis and Facebook-wallahs and the whatsapp warriors. 

It’s said “Ladies first” so my first tweet would start with one of the most controversial figures in Bollywood (show biz would have been better), Rakhi Sawant.

At one point when Rakhi Sawant had only 15 votes, someone on Twitter commented:

                “ Rakhi Sawant got 15 votes!! 1 by herself, 1 by Jesus, 1

                   by Mika Singh and maybe 1 by Kamal R Khan.:P What

                   about the rest 11? Swayamwar ppl? “ 

Given Modi’s Gujarati background and his work-style here are other few compilations: 

                “Dear Modiji, this is a humble request from a humble

                 Indian that..

                In your quest and eagerness to replicate the Gujarat

                model, please do not make India a dry nation..

                I cannot drive to neighbouring countries to drink” 

Even the greatest of greats, Rajnikant was trolled by NaMo.

                “Darwaza khola to Saap nikla

                Wah wah

                Darwaza khola to Saap nikla

                Ye Narendra Modi to Rajnikant ka bhi baap nikla” 

After seeing Modi become PM, Pakistan govt to Geo TV: 
                 “We don’t want Kashmir now.. But we will not give

                  Karachi.” 

                “Modi opened his innings like Sachin Tendulkar, carried

                  it on like Virat Kohli and Finished it like MS Dhoni” 

As if jokes about men having had enough about their wives, the fairer sex found mention with Modi and elections.

                “NaMo victory proved that a man can only succeed 
                 when his mother is near and wife away”

 Manmohan has been the butt of all jokes and he might have relieved a sigh of relief now that he no longer heads a troubled coalition (though he considers it an achievement to keep the coalition intact)

                “Today at 2pm Manmohan Singh begins work on his

                  Autobiography titled “5 mistakes of my life” – 2G, 3G,

                  Sonia G, Rahul G and Rahul ke jija-G.”

Now for some Rahul Gandhi and Congress bashing: 

                “Breaking News: Rahul Gandhi started early

                 preparation for 2019 polls.  Slogan is ready leher ke

                 baad boonda boondi, ab ki baar Rahul Gandhi” 

BREAKING NEWS:

                “Congress files and FIR against BJP for Gang Rape”

Rahul Gandhi had made Women empowerment and RTI his answers to any damn question to which Bhavin (@Compucaholic) on Twitter said: 

                “If Smriti Irani wins in Amethi, it is only because of

                  Rahul Gandhi – women empowerment” 

Sir Ravindra Jadeja had this to tweet about Rahul Gandhi’s adolescence:

                “Rahul Gandhi is praying for rain so that he can win by

                  Duckworth Lewis System” 

And to end with the list on Congress, @andy_jadeja effectively turned BJP’s slogan to indicate Congress’ end:

                “Congress’ slogan after #ElectionResults : Abki baar,

                  Antim Sanskaar! #Results2014.” 

The popularity of Whatsapp which was acquired for an astronomical $19bn by Facebook can be gauged from this message:

                “Good news for Congress for winning under 50 seats –

                  they can now make a Whatsapp group without leaving

                  any MP out. And there's space for AAP too ” 

And the man (resembles a lot like Kancha of the new Agneepath) who turns any event into a hilarious tweet, Ramesh Srivats, had a few to offer as well.

                “Current Situation : BJP+ : 292, Congress+ : 76..

                  Congress needs 12 to avoid follow-on” 

                “Rahul, Modi, all same yaar. First thing they did today

                  was run to their mummy.” 

How can cricket be far behind in his tweets:

                “Good thing no IPL match today. Would have definitely

                  been washed out by this Modi wave."

The famous Meira Kumar, former Speaker of Lok Sabha and famous for her Baith jaiye remarks was not spared when she was routed.             

                "Tragic. She told everyone else to take their seats, but 

                  lost her own RT @firstpostin Lok Sabha Speaker Meira

                 Kumar loses from Sasaram, Bihar"

How can AAP be far behind:

               “Delhi Daredevils Good on paper, Lousy on field

                Articulate captain, Chaos tactics Best team in Delhi.

                Worst team in India. Wait. They're AAP.”

While Gujaratis have been the butt of many jokes this election season, one to end with a joke on Sardars.. Or should I say AAP.

                 "Mystery of AAP's win of 4 seats in Punjab solved..

                  Actually AAP ka button dekh ke sardaro ne daba diya..

                 "socha khud PM banenge"..."  

And finally to the youth which played a big role in this election, by @shivika_gupta26 :

                

                  "For the first time ever, the youth of the country is

                   excited about 16th may instead of 14th feb.” 

And as I compile this, the next PM of India, Narendra Modi, would be singing the remix of “Saala main to Sahab ban gaya” with his own version..   

                 “sala main to PM ban gaya, ye victory meri dekho, ye

                  history meri dekho, jaise model mere Gujarat ka”..

Actually it’s what India Today conceptualised in the form of a

video So Sorry..  

Jokes apart, there are many expectations from Modi given the development he has talked about and his immediate challenge would be to restore growth and confidence in the story of India. Here’s wishing him tonnes of luck for the 60 months to come. Adios!!